WHY GAY MARRIAGE WOULD BE HARMFUL – BY ROBERT BENNE AND GERALD MCDERMOTT

Speaking Out

Institutionalizing homosexual marriage would be bad for marriage, bad for children, and bad for society.

Now that the Massachusetts Supreme Court has ruled that marriage be open to gays and lesbians, it is time to consider the question that pops up more than mushrooms after a spring rain: How would the legalization of gay marriage harm current and future heterosexual marriages?

At first glance, individual cases may seem harmless. But history shows that social trends—illegitimacy, cohabitation—once rare, now contribute to lower marriage rates, fatherless children, domestic violence, poverty, and soaring welfare costs.

Three major harms follow:

1. Bad for Marriage

Marriage has, for millennia, meant the lifelong union of one man and one woman—an analytic truth. Redefining it scrambles our fundamental understanding of human relations.

Advocates admit gay marriage will change marriage more than it changes gays. Andrew Sullivan: “Among gay male relationships, the openness of the contract makes it more likely to survive… there is more likely to be a greater understanding of the need for extramarital outlets.” Troy Perry (Metropolitan Community Church): “Monogamy is not a word the gay community uses… fidelity means honesty, not exclusivity.”

A Dutch study shows even “monogamous” gay male couples average eight outside partners per year.

Redefinition also opens the door to polyamory. Law professor Martha Ertman seeks moral neutrality between marriage and group unions. David Chambers expects gay marriage to increase government receptivity to marital units of three or more.

2. Bad for Children

Research shows: “Family structure matters… the structure that helps most is two biological parents in a low-conflict marriage.” Gay marriage encourages adoption by same-sex couples—and anonymous sperm donation, deliberately depriving children of a biological parent.

Studies also indicate children raised by homosexuals report: greater gender dissatisfaction, higher rates of familial molestation, and more homosexual experience.

It also encourages sexually uncertain teens (25% of 12-year-old boys) to embrace a lifestyle with elevated rates of suicide, depression, HIV, STDs, and drug abuse.

Further, it reinforces the idea that marriage is about adult fulfillment, not raising children—making it easier to abandon vows when unmet.

3. Bad for Society

These effects intensify existing instability in marriage and family—the bedrock of society.

Also, gay marriage cannot be democratically enacted. It is being imposed by activist judges against the will of the majority. Like Roe v. Wade, this risks widespread contempt for law and courts—and deepens social division.

Conclusion

Some legal entitlements may be granted via non-sexually defined domestic partnerships. But marriage itself must retain its historic definition—and we must strengthen our capacity to live up to its ideals.

—Robert Benne and Gerald McDermott, Roanoke College

(Viewpoints do not necessarily represent Christianity Today.)

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