CULTURE WARS: TOP 10 ARGUMENTS AGAINST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

 A large and growing body of social scientific evidence indicates that the intact, married family is best for children. Scholars such as David Popenoe, Linda Waite, Maggie Gallagher, Sara McLanahan, David Blankenhorn, Paul Amato, and Alan Booth support this view. Sara McLanahan, a sociologist at Princeton University, states:

“If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children’s basic needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent ideal. Such a design… would not only ensure that children had access to the time and money of two adults, it also would provide a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting. The fact that both parents have a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child, and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.”

This empirical reality supports the norm that every child should have the opportunity to grow up in an intact, married family—or, failing that, an adoptive family headed by a married couple offering both a mother and a father.

1. Children hunger for their biological parents

Same-sex couples using IVF or surrogacy deliberately create children who live apart from one biological parent. Yale psychiatrist Kyle Pruett reports that children of IVF often ask their mothers: “Mommy, what did you do with my daddy? Can I write him a letter? Has he ever seen me?”

2. Children need fathers

Fathers uniquely reduce antisocial behavior in boys and early sexual activity in girls. Studies show girls raised without their biological father are more likely to experience early puberty and teen pregnancy—suggesting fathers influence biological development through pheromones and modeling.

3. Children need mothers

Mothers excel in providing emotional security and reading infant cues. They also offer daughters unique guidance through puberty and adolescence.

4. Inadequate evidence on same-sex couple parenting

Leading professional associations claim “no effects” on children raised by same-sex couples, but the research is preliminary, often methodologically flawed, and frequently conducted by advocates. Sociologist Steven Nock, agnostic on same-sex marriage, concluded: “All of the articles I reviewed contained at least one fatal flaw of design or execution… not a single one was conducted according to generally accepted standards of scientific research.”

5. Children raised in same-sex homes experience gender and sexual disorders

Some studies suggest children of lesbians are more likely to exhibit gender nonconformity and report same-sex attraction. Sociologist Judith Stacey found “a significantly greater proportion of young adult children raised by lesbian mothers… reported having a homoerotic relationship.”

6. Vive la différence

Marriage thrives when spouses specialize in gender-typical roles. Women are happier when their husband is the primary earner; couples are less likely to divorce when the wife focuses on childrearing and the husband on breadwinning.

7. Sexual fidelity

Same-sex marriage could undermine the norm of sexual fidelity. In Vermont, over 79% of heterosexual married couples value sexual fidelity, compared to only about 50% of gay men in civil unions.

8. Marriage, procreation, and the fertility implosion

Marriage historically secured a mother and father for every child. Same-sex marriage severs this link. Countries legalizing same-sex unions (e.g., Netherlands, Sweden, Canada) have fertility rates well below replacement (1.6 vs. 2.1).

9. For the sake of the children

The divorce and sexual revolutions weakened the norm that couples should marry and stay married for their children. Same-sex marriage may further normalize fatherlessness, making it easier for men to rationalize abandoning their children.

10. Women and marriage domesticate men

Married men earn more, drink less, live longer, and are more faithful. Their testosterone levels drop—especially with children at home. There’s little evidence same-sex marriage produces similar effects.

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