Three words that shocked the world: ’I forgive him.’

Where does such forgiveness come from?

By Mary Ann Mueller

VOL Special Correspondent

www.virtueonline.org

October 2, 2025

On September 10, Erika Kirk watched her husband slain before her eyes. Like Jacqueline Kennedy before her, she is now the grieving single mother of two youngsters. She's lost her husband and the father of her children. As a new widow she stood before the nation as her husband's untimely death was publicly mourned.

Mrs. Kirk stood before God and the world and proclaimed her willingness to forgive her husband's alleged assassin, Tyler Robinson.

"My husband, Charlie, he wanted to save young men, just like the one who took his life. On the Cross, Our Savior said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' That young man … I forgive him," Mrs. Kirk said. "I forgive him because it was what Christ did, and it's what Charlie would do."

Forgiveness is a bold act. A very difficult step to take particularly just days after her husband was killed plunging her into instant widowhood and stripping her children of their Daddy. Children so young they will lose the memory of his hug, of his voice, of his fatherly love …

"The answer to hate is not hate. The answer we know from the Gospel is love — always love,” the young widow continued. “Love for our enemies and love for those who persecute us."

President Donald Trump vehemently disagreed with the Kirks and their views on hate and forgiveness, and he was not shy about proclaiming his opposite view.

“Charlie was a missionary with a noble spirit and a great, great purpose. He did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them,” the president explained. “That's where I disagreed with Charlie. I hate my opponent, and I don't want the best for them.”

Turning to Mrs. Kirk Trump said: “I'm sorry. I am sorry, Erika. But now Erika can talk to me and the whole group, and maybe they can convince me that that's not right, but I can't stand my opponent.”

Mrs. Kirk’s forgiveness had to be born out of her strong Catholic faith and wrenching tearful prayer.

The young grieving widow is following in the footsteps of others who have been stripped of spouses, children, siblings and parents through purposeful violent death.

Charlie Kirk's accused murderer has been charged by the Utah County (Utah) Attorney’s Office with aggravated murder which is a capital offense in the State of Utah. 

Utah County is where Utah Valley University is located, the place where Kirk met his death. Robinson’s next court date is at the end of October. Until then the 22-year-old is being held without bond in the Utah County Jail.

THE AMISH FORGIVE

Nineteen years ago, in early October 2006, an Old Order Amish community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, forgave the shooter, their neighbor – Charles Roberts – who shot up the West Nickel Mines School killing five school girls and wounding five others.

In fact, the Amish prayerfully, emotionally and even lovingly supported the shooter's widow, Marie Roberts. Charles Roberts died at his own hand. The Amish, grieving themselves, attended their neighbor’s funeral.

Following the tragic schoolhouse shooting in 2006 it was reported that the Amish responded with forgiveness in their hearts.

One Amish grandfather was reported to say: “We must not think evil of this man.” While one of the Amish dads is quoted as saying: “He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he's standing before a just God.”

This level of Christian forgiveness was shocking and not understood. The media, which converged on the one-room schoolhouse, were flummoxed that the Amish were so willing to forgive and even reach out to Marie Roberts, the shooter's widow, with loving compassion.

“Some commentators criticized the quick and complete forgiveness with which the Amish responded, arguing that forgiveness is inappropriate when no remorse has been expressed, and that such an attitude risk denying the existence of evil,” Wikipedia writes.

In fact, a delegation of 30 Amish attended Roberts’ funeral. Mrs. Roberts thanked the Amish community for its forgiveness, grace and mercy extended to her during such a tragic time for them as they had their own funerals to plan.

THE CHARLESTON CHURCH FORGIVES

In 2016 Dylann Roof shot and killed nine people after attending their midweek Bible Study at Mother Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina.

Again, the deeply committed Christian community of believers choose to forgive, not hate, Roof for his actions.

“I forgive you, and my family forgives you,” Anthony Thompson, the widower of 59-year-old Myra Thompson, said during Roof’s initial court appearance. “But we would like you to take this opportunity to repent. Change your ways.”

“You took something really precious from me. I will never talk to her again,” the daughter of 70-year-old shooting victim Ethel Lance, said. “But I forgive you and have mercy on your soul. You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. But God forgives you. I forgive you.”

Forgiveness is not automatic. It is a work in progress. Sometimes it takes a while to overcome the shock, anger and loss.

“For me, I am a work in progress,” admitted a relative of 49-year-old Depayne Middleton-Doctor. “I am very angry, but we are the family that love built. We have no room for hate, so I have to forgive.”

Roof’s family responded to the forgiveness being offered to Dylann. The Roof Family expressed their "deepest sympathies and condolences” to families of the shooting victims.

In an issued statement the Roof Family said: "Words cannot express our shock, grief, and disbelief as to what happened that night. We are devastated and saddened by what occurred. We have all been touched by the moving words from the victims’ families offering God’s forgiveness and love in the face of such horrible suffering.”

Again others challenged the ease at which Mother Emanuel parishioners forgave. Especially since Roof went out of his way to target black church members.

In 2017 the International Network for Hate Studies (INHS) posted: “The controversy surrounding those who forgave Dylann Roof betrays the complexities inherent in the practice of forgiveness. His actions still resonate painfully both for the families of his victims and for those who recognize the persisting threat of racially motivated violence. While we (the INHS authors) occupy a position of privilege and are far removed from the experiences of Roof’s forgivers, we’ve argued that the practice of forgiveness is not exempt from the distortions and burdens of power. The circumstances of oppression can make forgiveness incredibly difficult, perhaps even impossible, and to find oneself in such a position is to be doubly harmed.”

Roof was a young adult at the time of the Mother Emanuel Church shooting. In late 2016 he was convicted of the mass murder in federal court and he was sentenced to death by the United States as the result of the federal government adding hate crime enhancements to his murder indictments.

In 2017 he pled guilty to the State of South Carolina charges against him and was sentenced by South Carolina to nine consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole plus 95 years. He will spend the rest of his life in prison, no matter if he lives a long life or short life. He has already spent nearly a decade behind bars.

Imagine unending prison life. The rest of a person's life lived in a room with walls made out of bars.

Imagine waking up every morning, until the moment of death, within prison walls. A penitentiary is a violent place, it is a crucible of concentrated evil – an accumulation of sin: violence, murder, burglary, arson, rape, kidnapping …

Born in 2004 Roof was 21 at the time he committed the mass murder at the Mother Emanuel Church and he was arrested on June 18, 2015 for his crime – his sin. Today, at 31, he has already spent more than 3,750 days behind bars. Endless days stretch before him. He doesn't know how many.

In another 10 years (2035) Roof will be behind bars for 7,305 days. In 20 years (2045) he will have awakened behind bars 10,957 times. If he is still alive in 2055, and turns 60, he will have spent two thirds of his life in a prison jump suit – 14,610 days. If he spends a half a century (2015-2065) locked up he would be spending 18,262 days marking prison time.

Roof is seeking to vacate his death penalty. In the meantime, he is on the death row of a maximum security federal prison in Indiana. He only has death, his death, to look forward to. He'll never walk out of prison a free man, even a free old man. His fate was sealed when he pulled the trigger and the jail door clanged shut behind him.

CHRIST HAS PAID THE DEATH PENALTY

Roof is under a federal death sentence and Robinson may be facing a similar state death sentence. But no matter what the crime (sin) which has been committed the death penalty has already been paid for by Christ on the Cross.

Capital punishment and state sanctioned execution is redundant because Christ was executed. He received capital punishment for all of us – Dylann Roof and Tyler Robinson included.

In her statement of forgiveness Mrs. Kirk quotes Jesus from the Cross: “On the Cross, Our Savior said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do …'”

“That young man – I forgive him," Mrs. Kirk said. "I forgive him because it was what Christ did …”

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REMOVE PENANCE

But forgiveness does not mean there is no punishment, there is no penance. If the death penalty would be taken off the table a life sentence, without the possibility of parole, is a reasonable punishment – a just penance – for breaking the Sixth Commandment: “Thou shalt not murder.”

King David learned about penances the hard way.

David was infatuated and committed adultery with Bathsheba and then orchestrated the death of her husband, Uriah, to cover up for his sin of lust. After his death the King took Uriah’s widow for his own wife. (2 Samuel 11)

“… but the Lord did not like what David had done.” 2 Samuel 11:27b)

The Lord sent the Prophet Nathan to deal with the situation. By using a parable the Prophet confronted David about his adultery and the underhanded way he devised the demise of Uriah and the taking the pregnant Bethsheba as his wife.  (2 Samuel 12:1-4)

David got angry at the parable’s injustice.  (2 Samuel 12:5-6)

Nathan revealed to King David that he was the offending man.

“You are that man.”  (2 Samuel 12:7)

Convicted of his sin David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”  (2 Samuel 12:13a)

The Lord accepted David's repentance.

Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin; you will not die. (2 Samuel 12:13b)

But a punishment would be exacted. The death of his baby boy, the love-child he conceived through the adulterous affair with Bathsheba, was the Lord's penance David would pay even though the Lord granted him the forgiveness for his multiple transgressions.

“But since you have shown total contempt for the Lord by this affair, the son that is born to you must die.” (2 Samuel 12:14)

For seven days David pleaded with the Lord for the love-child's life. The King fasted and prayed and slept on the ground in a sackcloth. (2 Samuel 12:16)

On the seventh day the baby died. (2 Samuel 12:18)

After the child's death David got up off the ground, washed and changed his clothes and first went to the House of the Lord to worship God. He and God were reconciled. David was forgiven and his penance had been paid. (2 Samuel 12:20a)

King David then returned home and comforted his new wife Bathsheba, the mother of the dead child. Then the couple had relations and she conceived Solomon. (2 Samuel 12:20b)

Solomon became a great king in his own right and is known for his extraordinary wisdom.

Mary Ann Mueller is a journalist living in Texas. She is a regular contributor to VirtueOnline.