THOUGHTS FOR A CONGREGATION DIVIDED ON HOMOSEXUALITY

By the Rev. Fleming Rutledge

"In essentials, unity. In nonessentials, diversity. In all things, charity"

This address—delivered December 2003—was shaped by a specific context: a parish where the majority held traditional views on sexuality, while a smaller, marginalized group favored openness to rethinking the issue. Some had already left; others wondered if they still belonged.

Rutledge's aim was not to persuade one side or the other—but to enlarge the space for disagreement and help the congregation stay together amid deep pain.

"My heart's desire and prayer is that this blessed congregation would stay together and bear witness by modeling endurance in struggle."

She invokes St. Paul's call in Philippians 2:5: "Have this mind among yourselves, which you have in Christ Jesus…"

This is, she says, "one of those times when we are going to have to wrestle through to a new understanding of the mind of Christ." We may arrive at the same conclusions the Church has long held—but we cannot simply cite precedent. "God is requiring us to think it through all over again."

THE DANGER OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS—ON BOTH SIDES

Rutledge warns:

The majority must avoid charging ahead without regard for the minority's pain.

The minority must resist the temptation to see themselves as morally superior—more "loving," more "inclusive."

"It takes a lot of work on both sides to avoid these traps."

Key questions she invites the congregation to ask:

Can you ask, "Why does this issue bother you so much?"—and truly listen?

Can you grant the other person holds their position with integrity?

Are you willing to offer something of yourself to someone who has deeply offended you?

When you overstep, can you apologize and ask forgiveness?

"That is the way of the Cross."

LINCOLN'S WISDOM FOR A DIVIDED CHURCH

Quoting Abraham Lincoln's reflections on the Civil War—and divine judgment—Rutledge suggests:

"God's purpose is probably something different from the purpose of either party."

"It is not a good idea to act as though one side possesses absolute, unmitigated truth."

She reminds the congregation that Christ's command "Do not judge" (Matt. 7:1) flows from His taking judgment upon Himself on the Cross—even as He also spoke words of sobering judgment.

A WORD TO HETEROSEXUAL CHRISTIANS

"Homosexual people deserve to be seen, understood, and taken seriously—not patronized, categorized, or spoken about in the third person."

"We must bear the pain of this time in our own persons—not push it away as someone else's problem."

Citing Philip Gourevitch's insight—"Power largely consists in the ability to make others inhabit your story of their reality"—she calls the Church to practice the way of the Cross: "Allowing others to tell their story in their own words."

A WORD TO GAY CHRISTIANS AND ALLIES

She addresses not only openly gay people—but also parents, friends, and those wrestling with hidden struggles:

"I do not speak to you as a problem. I do not speak about you as if you were not present."

"My sense of our Lord is that He always spoke to, not about."

THEOLOGICAL GROUNDING—NOT SENTIMENT

Rutledge insists the debate must be theological, not merely anthropological (i.e., based on experience or politics): "Much of the argument in the Episcopal Church is only vaguely theological."

She critiques sentimentality on both sides:

Romanticizing gay people as "innocent victims"

Assuming women's ordination would automatically make the Church "better"

A commonly used phrase—"We have an inclusive gospel"—is incomplete unless we ask: "On what basis is it inclusive? What is the role of judgment, correction, and purgation?"

BIBLICAL FOUNDATIONS

She notes how Scripture roots human sexuality in creation order:

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Gen. 2:24)

"From the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.'" (Mark 10:6)

These are not cultural footnotes—they are theological touchstones, reaffirmed by Jesus Himself.

Leviticus, she acknowledges, is often ridiculed—but read whole, it reveals a community called to holiness: justice, honesty, care for the poor. Its vision is earthy, material, and body-affirming—not gnostic or disembodied.

Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 6 reinforces this: "Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit… You are not your own; you were bought with a price."

And to the claim "Jesus never said anything about homosexuality", Rutledge replies: "This is disingenuous at best. Jesus condemned porneia—a term encompassing all illicit sexual behavior as defined in the Old Testament."

PERSONAL CONVICTIONS—BASED ON DECADES OF REFLECTION

Orientation is not chosen. Rutledge rejects the idea of a "gay gene" but affirms that male homosexuality often stems from early developmental disruption—particularly in the father-son bond. Most gay men, she believes, would not choose this path if given the option.

Change is unlikely. She cites high-profile "reparative therapy" cases that ultimately failed over time.

The Bible didn't know "orientation." She finds this argument somewhat persuasive—but provisional.

Homosexuality is not a "normal variant." Anatomically, reproductively, and theologically, it falls outside the created order. But "disordered" does not mean "unlovable." Divorce, for instance, is also disordered—and yet we bless second marriages.

"I would suggest the word adaptation—not perversion, not normality, but an adaptive response to complex circumstances."

Thus, she supports blessings for faithful, monogamous same-sex couples—but not marriage, which sacramentally images Christ and the Church.

"Gay unions should be conducted like second marriages: quiet, restrained, dignified."

And she cautions traditionalists: "The mainline churches have been largely voiceless on premarital sex and divorce. Evangelicals show higher divorce rates than the national average. We cannot be toplofty about our 'Biblical standards.'"

ON SCHISM

"I do not believe there is such a thing as a pure church."

"If we 'reconfigure' to exclude gay people, we lose the very image of God's mercy."

A split in the Episcopal Church may warn other denominations—but it could also trigger more fractures (e.g., among Presbyterians). The cost, she warns, may be too high.