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Church in Wales' newest vicar on the church and being transgender

Church in Wales' newest vicar on the church and being transgender
Sarah knew from childhood she was different and hopes people hearing her story will understand the church is diverse

By Abbie Wightwick, Education Editor
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/
Nov. 28, 2018

The new vicar of Cardiff's city centre parish St John The Baptist is transgender and has ambitious plans to make it more open to the whole community.

After six weeks in Cardiff, the city's newest vicar says she loves her inner-city parish but there is lots of work to do with issues such as homelessness and drug addiction literally staring her in the face on the doorstep.

"I love St John's. Cardiff has a fabulous feel. The city centre is full of the reality of modern life. We have people for whom society works and we have people sleeping outside our gates. I'd like to think that St John's is well placed to reach out to both.

"The issues are in front of our gates. I don't have ready-made answers and the problems are complex. The thing I need to do first is to settle and listen to the people who need our help the most.

"I don't believe in bashing people with the bible or telling them what they should believe but I do think that giving people an opportunity to consider and encounter God could make a positive difference to peoples' lives".

Sarah Jones came to Cardiff after 14 years in parish groupings in Ross on Wye.

"When I saw the details of the post at St John's, I really felt that it might be the right post for me.

"My previous job was in a market town and this is the city centre of the capital of Wales but I really felt attracted to the parish. The people at St John's gave me a fabulous welcome and I feel very lucky to be part of this church community."

She had an unusual route into ministry. Leaving school at 16 after her parents' marriage broke up she had to change her original plans:

"I wanted to go to university but that disappeared overnight. I got a job in a music shop and I realised that I really enjoyed interacting with people". Over the years she had a variety of jobs in sales and training in the music business and in industry.

However this is not the most unusual part of her background. Sarah was brought up as a boy and is the first Anglican priest to have undergone a gender change before being ordained into the church.

"I looked like a boy and there was no reason to doubt it when I was born. However I knew from the age of six or seven that I was more one of the girls than one of the boys.

"I was slightly different. I did fit in and I wasn't bullied but by secondary school I knew deep down inside that I should have been one of the girls.

"However I thought that I just had this feminine side to me but that I could carry on with a normal life."

She married aged 20 but the marriage ended a few years later when Sarah found it increasingly hard to carry on in a male role. The split was amicable and the two remain friends.

"Gradually the pressure began to build. I felt in the wrong body but I thought I could handle it. Then I woke up one morning and almost couldn't function. I knew however embarrassing and difficult it would be I had to go to the doctor. I was 25 or 26 at the time.

"I wrote a letter to my mother. She was very good and said she would support me in whatever I did."

"I had counselling, but the feelings kept growing. I believed in God from a very early age and I didn't want to do anything which I thought might be sinful or wrong so I carefully explored the issues.

"I wanted to take things slowly. It took me nine years to make the change whereas some people do it in one or two years. I wanted to be really sure that this was right for me".

In 1991 she changed her name legally to Sarah, started a psychology degree as a mature student at St Hugh's College, Oxford. Around the same time Sarah "fell in love" with the Anglican church and was received into the Church of England in her college chapel.

But she had felt a calling to God as far back as childhood.

"I felt I had a vocation from the age of eight or nine. After I had made my gender change I remember saying to God "I've blown it now" because I thought there was no possibility of the church accepting me for ordination."

After several more years working in industry "wearing beautiful suits and driving a company car" Sarah knew she needed to follow her calling. In 2000 she applied to train for ordination in the Church of England.

The first interview went well.

"I remember thinking that before I left the room I had to tell them about my change. I wasn't ashamed but it was something they needed to know."

After a short pause the interviewer said she would have to ask the church authorities as no such case had arisen before, but let Sarah know she was supportive. Two years later Sarah began training and was ordained at Hereford Cathedral in 2004.

In doing so she became the first person to be ordained having made a gender change. In January 2005 a tabloid newspaper threatened to "out" her at which point the church, which Sarah says has always backed her, decided they would tell the story with their new cleric themselves to defuse the situation.

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Sarah takes over at St John's from Canon Dr Sarah Rowland Jones who left the diocese last spring to become Dean of St David's Cathedral, and says that she has found Llandaff diocese and the parish of St John's very welcoming and inclusive.

This has not always been the case. After conducting a funeral many years ago,

Sarah was asked back to the reception but when she asked where the toilet was a group of men deliberately took her to the gent's toilet.

"I just went home and cried," she recalls.

That was a rare instance though and Sarah feels she is herself and is following her calling to serve God, the two things she knew she wanted but could not verbalise - or perhaps fully comprehend, aged eight.

Sarah says that over the years, most people have been positive and supportive of her although she knows that there have been some people who have not been comfortable with her background.

"As a cleric, I am here to remind us of God. It's not about me being transgender but the fact it is not hidden is wonderful. I am not important. What is important is that some people's lives are made more hopeful because of this.

Sarah is aware she is making herself vulnerable by giving an interview but she hopes that by speaking out and being visible in the community and church that gender identity issues become more understood. Being gay is now something barely mentioned in society and she hopes it will one day be the same for the transgender community.

Sarah, who is also a musician and writes a blog, said: "Occasionally someone writes something unkind on their blog but unless people like me are visible we can't lance that boil or give hope and strength to people who are marginalised. The reality is that every day there are people bullied for being different in terms of sexuality or gender. If someone aged 14 or 54 or 78 feels a bit better about themselves because of me being visible, that is important".

Now she has talked openly about herself she hopes she can get on helping the

2,000 people who live in her parish as well as the shoppers and city workers who come to the church from time to time.

There are plans to develop parts of St John's into useful meeting rooms for the community and to redevelop the cafeteria area.

"The potential to help people at St John's is immense. I'd like us to be a real blessing to the city. There are many challenges. There are all these shops with open doors and lights whereas people who are not regular church goers might find it a bit intimidating to come into church. There are railings around it and it can be difficult to make the decision to come in. Once inside however, people can see that the building is beautiful. One of the things we have to do it to make the building more open and welcoming."

Sarah says she hopes that people who hear her story will understand that the Church in Wales welcomes all people and is more diverse than might be thought.

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