Register now for more content and features!!    Login   Home | News | FAQ | eBooks | Weblinks | Gallery | Contact Us
News Topics
Special Reports
Columnists
VirtueOnline
Search
VOL Sponsors

North American
Anglican


The Orthodox Journal for Anglicans in North America

Historical, Theological, Practical

39Articles.com



Land of a
Thousand Hills
Coffee


Drink Coffee
Do Good



Sustainable Ministry: Coffee, Community, Social Justice

DrinkCoffee
DoGood.com



Orthodox Anglican
Priest's Manual



Hardcover and Electronic copies available

OrthoChap.com


Contact Us for advertising rates.

Columnists : A New Agenda For Conservatives - Mike McManus
Posted by David Virtue on 2009/11/5 7:10:00 (540 reads)

A New Agenda For Conservatives

By Mike McManus
November 4, 2009

Conservatives are exultant by this week's victories for governors in Virginia and New Jersey. With good reason. Their core supporters turned out, and they attracted a substantial majority of independents, most of whom had voted for Obama.

Maine voters also defeated a gay marriage law. In all 31 states where same-sex marriage has been put to a public vote, people supported traditional marriage.

However, in 2010 conservatives must be far more creative to win major victories in Congress and in state capitals. If Obama's Health Plan passes Congress, as is likely, Democrats will claim a victory that will impress many independents.

What's needed is a fresh political idea to galvanize conservatives. For example, states could take a step that could cut divorce rates in half, and reduce federal and state spending on broken families by $75 billion a year.

There will be an acute need for such an initiative in 2010 when unemployment rates are expected to remain near 10 percent. That will depress federal and state revenues. Federal Stimulus funds which helped this year - will evaporate next year.

How can divorce rates be cut in half?

First, answer this question. Why are America's divorce rates two to seven times those of Canada and European countries?

As Andrew Cherlin documents in his insightful book, "The Marriage-Go-Round," after five years 23 percent of American couples separate or divorce. Compare that with the 10-12 percent of couples in Canada, Austria, Finland, West Germany and Sweden; 8 percent of the French or British; and only 3-5 percent of Italians, Belgians and Spanish.

Cherlin writes, "In no other country is the waiting period for a No-Fault Divorce so short," as in America. Germans have to live separately for three years if one spouse does not want the divorce, five years in Britain and six in France.

Why? Such laws give couples time to reconcile. Clearly, it works.

By contrast, there is NO minimum time of separation in 33 states, such as Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Kentucky, Idaho and Wyoming, according to John Crouch of Americans for Divorce Reform.

These states have Hot Head Laws that favor the angry spouse, those who want a divorce IMMEDIATELY. Why shouldn't state laws encourage reconciliation? Every study shows permanent marriages benefit men, women and especially children.

For example, a married woman will live four years longer than the divorced, and a married man, ten years longer. Children of divorce live four years less.

Hot Head States have divorce rates that are double those of Maryland, Illinois and Pennsylvania where couples must live apart two years, if a No-Fault Divorce is contested.

Few seem to realize that in four out of five divorces, one spouse opposes divorce, according to an earlier book by Cherlin, "Divided Families," co-authored with Frank Furstenberg

Therefore, my first suggestion to cut divorce rates in half is for states to look at my home state of Maryland for a model law in which a spouse seeking a No-Fault Divorce must live separately for a year, and two years, if the divorce is contested.

Alternatively, states could reform No-Fault Divorce in cases that involve minor children, to require both the mother and father to agree in writing to any divorce, unless one is proven guilty of a fault, such as adultery or physical abuse. Why should a contract that was willingly entered into by two people, be terminated by one spouse acting unilaterally?

Unilateral Divorce should be prohibited when couples have young children who need both their mother and father. I wrote a recent book proposing this reform, "How to Cut America's Divorce Rate in Half: A Strategy Every State Should Adopt."

Evansville, IN Catholic Bishop Gerald Gettelfinger wrote an endorsement, "By giving the spouse who wants to save the marriage an equal voice with an unhappy mate, many marriages could be restored, perhaps saving most of them."

Divorce Attorney John Crouch told me, "A large proportion of divorces would be avoided altogether, and most of the rest would be settled out of court. Divorces would be fairer to both parties with less legal fees. I believe it could cut divorce rates by as much as 50 percent. Changing the rules about ending a divorce would prevent a lot of marriages from breaking down in the first place. They would not only influence the decision to divorce, but the behavior and choices that lead to divorce."

Affiliates of Focus on the Family invited me to address state legislators in Florida Wisconsin, as did the Family Rights Coalition of Michigan. This weekend I address state legislators from many states at a WallBuilders Conference.

Let's cut America's divorce rate in half.


----Michael J. McManus is a syndicated columnist writing on "Ethics & Religion". He is President & Co-Chair of Marriage Savers. He lives with his wife in Potomac, MD

Social Bookmarking
Bookmark to: Favit Bookmark to: Digg Bookmark to: Del.icio.us Bookmark to: Facebook Bookmark to: Reddit Bookmark to: StumbleUpon Bookmark to: Furl Bookmark to: Google Bookmark to: Yahoo Bookmark to: Technorati Information        
Printer Friendly Page Send this Story to a Friend
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.
Poster Thread
anilwang
Posted: 2009/11/5 14:56  Updated: 2009/11/5 14:56
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2009/10/11
From:
Posts: 71
 Re: A New Agenda For Conservatives - Mike McManus
While I agree that the high divorce rate is a scandal, it misses the bigger scandal that divorce in the US (from a Canadian perspective) is portrayed to the young as an inevitability that's even glamorized as a badge of honour. The education for young couples is also troubling. Best selling books like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" are written by two people who have gone through multiple divorces. This fact does not discredit the books -- it's spun as an advantage since "both people have a lot of experience on marriage". Quantity, it appears is more important than quality.

Unfortunately the Canadian numbers might not be as comforting as one might hope, since the US has a strong influence on Canadians. While there is less divorce, the is likely more cohabitation to "try before you buy" since its more socially acceptable here than in the US and people are more afraid of divorce (which doesn't seem to be as glamorized here as the US).

IMO, no fault divorce is a symptom, not the cause of the problem. From what I've seen, divorces (even no fault divorces) are always always messy and painful. If the pain doesn't cause people to reconsider giving breathing space won't. People will just live apart and live as if they were not married. There are many sources of the problem, but IMO, the key sources are:

(1) Young couples are not taught up front that divorce is messy and painful. Divorce is not like changing clothes -- you're separated from your clothes but you can always try on a new one if you don't like to be naked. It is far more like amputation. Something that was a part of you has been torn off and you will never be the same again, even if you accept your loss.

(2) Young couples are taught that divorce is inevitable, so that there's no point in prolonging the pain. Divorce among a significant number of political leaders and even Protestant clergy only enforce this belief. TV does too. And school guidance counselors, in an effort to make children of divorce feel comfortable have portrayed divorce as being a natural part of life. The statistics that most marriages end in support also enforce this (BTW, this statistic is false, but popularly believed). Young couples need to be taught that divorce is not inevitable. Those of us with long solid marriages need to step up and show the young that there is hope. Instead of hiding our elderly, we need to return to the practice of encouraging our elderly to be involved with the children of the new generation.

(3) Tied to the first two point, people who do know that divorce is painful and believe that divorce is inevitable, simply live together. There's a popular myth now in the media that "if you get married, you'll ruin the relationship" or that breakup after living together results in less pain than divorce. This myth needs to be shot down whenever it appears.

(4) Young couples have too high expectations. The media portrays marriage as a happily ever after affair and if any difficulty happens, it wasn't meant to be. After all "Love is never having to say you're sorry". Expections have to be made more reasonable (see next point).

(5) For most people, there is no marital education before marriage. It's no co-incidence that even in the US, Catholic marriages which require 6 month training before marriage, last longer than non-Catholic marriages. IMO, this is the key to solving the divorce problem. Make marriage or remarriage legally require marriage education. This compusory marriage education would include setting more reasonable expectations, maintenance skills, and reconciliation skills. It would also focus on trying to ensure that one's attitudes towards the marriage and each other are sound. This marriage education would not be provided by the state, but instead would be provided by institutions like ones set up by ones religious community (e.g. Church, Synagogue, Mosque, Temple) or a community college.
Support VOL

Please support VirtueOnline with a tax deductible gift.


Your support of our ministry keeps the world informed with the truth!


   

VOL Sponsors



Global Anglican Theological Institute

Multi-Lingual Bible & Theological Education



GlobalAnglican.org
sponsored by VOL







St. Michael
the Archangel

Philadelphia, PA

http://www.anglicanphiladelphia.org

Traditional
Anglo-Catholic
Worship
for PA, NJ, DE

Worship at 8 & 10am
215 Belmont Ave
Bala Cynwyd, PA
215-247-1092
Anglican
Philadelphia.org



The Diocese of Quincy (ACNA)
Standing Together
Upholding the Faith

http://www.dioceseofquincy.org

We invite biblically orthodox, traditional churches beyond our borders to join our 132 year old diocese in planting new churches.

The Very Rev. John R. Spencer
President of the Standing Committee & Vicar General

St. Francis Church
12200 N. Brentfield Dr.
Dunlap, IL 61525
(309) 688-8221

DioceseOfQuincy.org



Contact Us for
advertising rates.