The prophetic element of scripture is full of warnings for us; see especially Peter's second letter. Such warnings have a very positive purpose. When you have a friend or family member who, in their chosen lifestyle, is running straight toward the cliff (whether intentionally or in ignorance), what is the loving thing to do?

If, for our own convenience and/or to avoid conflict, we do not confront them with their behavior and lifestyle, then we are part of the problem; we are enabling them. If we do not try our best to dissuade them, then we must take on at least some responsibility for their behavior and its outcome. However much we want to define our behavior as love, it is not. It is like continuing to bail out a 25 year old son when he keeps getting thrown in jail for the flagrant breaking of laws. Such "bailing out" would be greasing his path to self-destruction. It is unhelpful, dysfunctional, and it certainly is not love.

Enabling others by doing nothing may not actually 'cause' sin, but it certainly approaches it. And even worse, if we label sinful behavior as "OK" or "not sin", we are in fact promoting it.

Jesus put it quite strongly: "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin. Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come. If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire." (Matthew 18:6-8) Perhaps this is why the Anglican Communion must do the painful thing of completely cutting off The Episcopal Church and Church of Canada from their body.

LOVE REVISITED

"Instead of being an incentive for living a life of holiness, God's love has become an excuse for indulging every base human desire." -- Fr. Miguel Grave de Peralta

"God is love, but love is not God." This theological statement means that we are to worship God only and we are not supposed to put even the highest things (like love) above God Himself. We do not worship abstract principles (as do the Gnostics); we worship a personal divine Being. It is important to remember that God's divine character is not only love but also holiness, righteousness, and perfection. God is not codependent; God is certainly patient but He has His limits. The Bible is clear-God is unwilling to put up with humanity's self-serving ways forever. Consequences are waiting around the corner; Judgment Day IS coming. But it is also true that for believers, who are saved by grace, "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). However, confession, repentance, and amendment of life are still required when we sin. The Apostle John tells us that to love God is to obey God (John 14:15-24). If we say we love God but do not obey Him, we are liars and hypocrites.

God loves us enough to give us plenty of opportunities to see the error of our ways. Jesus embodied God's character, so we see Him loving us enough to die for us but we also see Him righteous enough to show anger and to chase the money-changers out of the temple. He loved everyone but He hated what some of them did, especially the religious leaders. The street-people admitted that they were sinners and they knew that they deserved judgment, but the chief priests and Pharisees acted as if they were sinless and better than the common people and therefore these leaders received the greater criticism. Jesus had harsh words for them, calling them "hypocrites," "brood of vipers," and "white-washed tombs full of dead men's bones".

Was this love? Yes. In this role, Jesus was like the prophets of old who warned the people that judgment was coming and who gave them a chance to repent and change. Otherwise, if He had been more tolerant of their behavior, He would have been guilty of codependency, enabling them to continue down their chosen road to self-destruction. One of the important lessons to be learned by Jesus' brand of love is that there are times when it looks like all mercy and other times when it clearly is "tough love." The Lord of love does forgive us when we repent, but love never enables us to continue our destructive ways.

In scripture we see that God hates evil and loves good, and so should we. But human nature is such that this easily gets out of balance. Spiritual pride and self-righteousness cause people to hate evil but not to love good (for example, those who mistreat homosexuals). On the other hand, codependency and permissiveness cause people to love good but not to hate evil (for example, those who ignore what Scripture says about homosexuality). True Christianity keeps it simple: love the sinner but hate the sin. That is what God does. God hates sinful behavior because by definition, it is harmful to His beloved creatures.

When we do not yet understand exactly why Scripture calls some behaviors sinful, are task is to trust God's Word. When the Bible is clear and consistent from beginning to end on an issue (like no sex outside of male-female marriage), then our task is to simply obey, knowing that God has loving reasons for proscribing these behaviors.

SEX AND LOVE

Is our being able to have sex with our lover-of-choice important to God? According to scripture, it is obviously not as important to God as it is to many of us. Although Jesus fulfilled and therefore did away with the Jewish ritual laws, He said and did nothing to overturn the laws regarding sexual morality. Jesus was neither codependent nor soft on sexual sin. Jesus forgave repented sexual sin but He said "Go and sin no more." In fact, as loving as He was, His approach to sex (and to divorce) was stricter than that of the Jewish priests. Jesus was the one who made an issue out of lust, teaching that even wrong sexual desires are sin (Matthew 5:28).

Why was Jesus so tough when it came to sex?

First, there is a deep spiritual issue embedded in our sexuality that has to do with the biblical principle of our being created "in the image of God." Sexual immorality is a major insult to that image. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." This statement reveals the divine design for humanity, reflecting God Himself. It is not just man and woman individually, but man and woman together which make up the image of God. The spouses' love and faithfulness for each other reflects the "divine third" between them; it images the love relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It follows that to deface the relation between man and woman is to deface God's image in humanity.

Secondly, sexual expression is nothing compared to agape love. Remember, Jesus taught that loving one's neighbor looks like the good Samaritan rather than the Latin lover. Also read 1st Corinthians 13 to see what the Holy Spirit taught Paul about love. Note that sex is not mentioned, nor passionate feelings. Love has nothing to do with sex except in the universally accepted situation between husband and wife. From beginning to end, the Bible is entirely consistent in this message: sexual behavior outside of male-female marriage is sin- and therefore such behavior is by definition destructive and contradictory to love.

Third, celibacy is not a horrible fate, regardless of what our sex worshiping culture wants us to believe. Virginity and celibacy have always been highly valued among those religions that developed out of Abraham's faith. How many people have died because they avoided sex? You won't find any. On the other hand, how many people have died because they did NOT avoid sex? Millions. The message is clear and unambiguous.

Homosexuals argue that they did not make a conscious decision to be that way, so it must be 'natural.' This much of what they are saying is true: just like all of us, they are made in an "image of God" which has been tarnished by generations of sin. Being born with a sin nature, they have sinful desires (Ephesians 2:1-3). Therefore, it is 'natural' for them, and for all of us, to be tempted to do things that God says are wrong. Pedophiles, adulterers, alcoholics, drug addicts, and even murderers , rarely make a conscious decision to "choose" to have these sinful desires; they simply give in to them. They too can be said to be "made that way." But change IS possible; with God, all things are possible.

Christians who promote homosexuality as normal behavior often like to remind us that we are "to love our neighbors as ourselves" - by which they mean a codependent tolerance of this behavior. "Of course we are to love them. But real love is not passive or blindly accepting. Real love actively, even relentlessly, seeks to bring the beloved into a closer relationship with God, through repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. We are not loving our gay brothers and sisters by telling them that sin is not sin after all. We need to be offering them hope through the redeeming love and transforming power of Jesus Christ." (thanks to S. Hubbard)

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Although sin is natural for us, that doesn't mean God wants us to remain sinful. As the saying goes, "God loves us just the way we are, but He loves us too much to leave us this way." But we must submit, giving Him complete permission with our lives- and that is what so many are not willing to do.

Theologically codependent people tend to deny at least one of these three vital truths about sin and the transformational power of Christ:

1. First, we were ALL 'born that way' in terms of having inherited a "sin nature" or tendency to sin-generally called "original sin" (Romans 3:23, see also Romans 2:5, 3:10-12, 5:12, Ps. 14:1-3, 53:1-3; Eccles. 7:20, etc.). My sinful desires may be quite different from yours, but we were all born with them. The Pelagian heresy seeks to deny original sin and promote the non-biblical idea that humans are born good, thereby justifying their "natural" desires and behaviors.

2. There are consequences for sin. Sin is destructive to self and others (Matt 2:36, Romans 2:5, 6:23, Hebrews 9:27, etc.). Even if we cannot yet understand how some behaviors are immoral and destructive, we are to trust the scriptures rather than our personal feelings.

3. Christianity is not only about being saved for a heavenly by-and-by, it is also about being transformed in this life. Despite our sinful tendencies, each of us can repent, confess, and ask God to forgive and change us (Ne 1:3-10; Matt 3:2, 11:20; Luke 13:1-9,18:13; Acts 2:38, 3:19, 17:30; 2 Cor 7:10, etc.). We also can obtain pastoral and other professional help to support that goal.

It has been prophesied: "There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be...lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God...having a form of godliness BUT DENYING ITS POWER." (2 Timothy 3:1-2a, 4b-5, my emphasis) Saying that we cannot be transformed denies God's sovereign power. But we know that God is omnipotent, or else He would not be God: "with God, nothing is impossible" (Mark 10:27, see also 14:6, Matt 19:26, Luke 1:37, 18:27). In this case, we emphasize that God has the power to transform people into Christ-likeness: Jesus told His disciples: "if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." (John 8:36; see also Romans 6:18, 6:22, 7:23-8:28:2, and 1 Peter 2:15-17). This statement means that believers are free from enslavement to sin. God gives us new desires (Ephesians 4:22-24).

Therefore, everyone can become free from his or her immoral behavior and free from the overpowering temptation to act out sinful desires. I am not saying that Christ will eliminate all temptation for the Christian. Even Jesus was tempted: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15) But believers are provided a way out: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

God empowers us to have victory over temptations, and we have no excuse if we do not take advantage of this wonderful gift: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." (2 Peter 1:3-4)

----Dr. Atkinson's education includes a doctorate in clinical psychology and an M.A. in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary, an M.S. in psychology from Illinois State University, and a B.A. from Beloit College (WI). Currently, he has a busy private practice in Atlanta, is a clinical supervisor with Richmont Graduate University, and teaches Bible and theology at Trinity Anglican Church in Douglasville, GA where he is a founding member.