The fallen me wants to be the center of the universe and for everything to be all about me. Many people actually convince themselves that this subjective perception is the reality. Solipsism is a temptation for these self-centered people, but this is a path that can lead to psychosis– and hell both on earth and in eternity. But self-worship can also be quite subtle. When we choose to critique and revise Scripture (eisegesis rather than proper exegesis), when we choose to ignore those unambiguous moral directives which are consistent in both OT and NT, then we are choosing our own way, we are choosing to be our own faulty little gods rather than acknowledging the one true sovereign God.

Spiritually speaking, it is possible to continue our idolatry by making Christ over in our own image and fooling ourselves into thinking we are saved - and yet, if we are honest, we must admit that we are still giving ourselves permission to be lord of our own life. However, we cannot have it both ways; there can be only one Master. Salvation requires submission, but naturally (i.e., the original sin nature), the me-god will always refuse to submit and refuse to get off the throne.

Idleman simplifies the issue this way: "The foundation of reality is that there is one God, and you are not him. Once that's established, a choice must be made, and here it is: I know that there is the Lord God, the master of all creation. I also know there's the god of me, the pretender to the throne. Whom will I serve? [To whom will I submit?] In my brokenness, I feel the pull to worship me. I hear the whispered lie that Adam and Eve first heard: "Your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God" (Genesis 3:5). Why serve? You rule. [You don't have to submit.] You have everything you need to be your own god.

Every day is a trip to that orchard; every day the snake is waiting. I must face this same choice. Will I worship God, and my find my true place in this universe, the perfect place He has arranged for me? Or will I worship me and decide I can somehow come up with a better life than the Creator of all could design?"

Our god-of-me complex combined with our actual fallenness results inevitably in both extreme self-consciousness (it's all about me) and extreme insecurity (awareness of weakness, vulnerability, and mortality). We may become consumed with what others think of us and live in constant fear of failure, in constant fear of being found out. We become judgmental and rigid in our views, seeking people to look down on so that we can elevate ourselves in our own eyes.

"How about defensiveness?" Idleman asks. "Have you ever found yourself taking the slightest suggestion, the blandest criticism as a personal attack? What makes people this way? Well, when you're god, you must be perfect, and no one else could possibly be in a position to criticize you."

When we try to be our own god, we are subject to narcissism and a legion of other psychological symptoms. All of the self-deceptions and ego defenses recognized by Sigmund Freud and his cronies come into play: denial, repression, projection, reaction formation, rationalization, compensation, acting out, etc. We don't want to admit that we are weak and vulnerable or that we live in a dangerous world where no one is completely trustworthy. To admit this reality is to live in constant fear and desperation.

We have four basic psychological choices regarding how to cope with these negative aspects of reality:

1) We can resort to blatant denial, painting rainbows over the sin and lostness of our soul (such as occurs with radically liberal Protestants and other Pelagianists),

2) We can try to control everything and everyone (Hitler types, obsessive-compulsives),

3) We can live in complete isolation (hermits, Amish), and/or

4) we can distract ourselves from reality through addictive behaviors. Such escapism is popular these days; the potential "drugs of choice" are ubiquitous and often behavioral (sex, gambling, shopping, eating, etc.) rather than chemical.

Of course, all of these coping strategies ultimately fail because none of them are based on the eternal verities and none of them can truly satisfy the soul. These temporary expedients only delay the inevitable "dark night of the soul." Sometimes God blesses us by allowing us to hit bottom so there is nowhere else to look except up. Either our dark night leads us to that proverbial 'leap of faith' toward and into Christ (and to the eternal salvation and transformation He has prepared for us) or it leads us to despair.

Despite all human will and desire to the contrary, ultimately God will prove His existence and sovereignty. Revelation 1:7 (ESV) indicates that on Jesus' return, the peoples will not be exactly welcoming. "Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail [mourn, rage] on account of him. Even so. Amen." (see also Psalm 2:1-4, Acts 4:25-26) We know exactly why the nations will rage and the peoples will mourn when the Lord returns; it is because of the great popularity of the "god of me" among people who hold worldly power.

At the end, God will allow the stubbornly reprobate to go ahead and be their own little gods - but they must do so separated from Him and thus separated from everything that is good, "in the outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth."

The only way to avoid this terrible fate is by faith in, and submission to the Lordship of Christ. Secondly, each of us must kill the self-centered me-god within, or as others have written, we must die to self. Jesus told His disciples to pick up their own cross and follow only Him. Following self or anyone else will lead to eternal destruction. Jesus died for us because we deserved to die, and now we must identify completely with Him in that death and not with our sinful selves.

Jesus taught "Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be." (John 12:25-26a) The god of me will never get off the throne willingly, so following Christ requires its death. The Apostle Paul taught that our "old man" (the me-god) must die. Paul's personal testimony should be adopted by every believer: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Dr. Atkinson is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary with a doctorate in clinical psychology and an M.A. in theology. He is a licensed psychologist in clinical practice in Atlanta and also works as a clinical supervisor training Christian counselors for Richmont Graduate University. He is a founding member of Trinity Anglican Church (ACNA) in Douglasville, Georgia