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Archbishop Justin Welby now admits that he believes in God

Archbishop Justin Welby now admits that he believes in God

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue DD
www.virtueonline.org
Sept. 22, 2014

The Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby reversed himself this week saying he now believes in God, despite earlier press reports which said that while out jogging, he sometimes doesn't believe God exists, because he can't see God when his feet barely touch the ground at the speed at which he is running.

"I am not really running from God, I just don't think he's there because my Nikes are the very latest and I am not sure He is there, there, if you know what I mean" the archbishop said as he fingered the new Rosary Beads given to him by Pope Francis.

"My faith was restored when I read that book Are You Running with Me Jesus by that well known Episcopal homosexual activist Malcolm Boyd whose inspiration for speed and sodomy became my inspiration and the recovery of my faith in Him."

Having been asked if he ever had doubts during a service at Bristol Cathedral, the archbishop replied, "Yes I do. I mean there are moments, sure, where you think 'is there a God? Where is God?' The other day, I was praying over something while I was running and I ended up saying to God, 'This is all very well, but isn't it about time you did something, if you're there?' which is not probably what the Archbishop of Canterbury should say."

The archbishop said his faith was still set in concrete and unshakeable, but he admitted there were times when he looked into the River Thames and wondered if he tried to walk on water, would God bear him up and would he make it to Westminster in time for afternoon tea and crumpets with the Prime Minister.

The Archbishop of Canterbury admitted he will probably go on struggling to make sense of his belief in God, and wondering if God would just show up now and then and "do more" like fixing Ebola, stop the slaughter of Christians in the Middle East and saving Episcopal Presiding Bishop Jefferts Schori from hell and damnation. He added that we should not hold our breath because God is still infinite and works on His own timetable.

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